Off the Market

My trip to Boston this weekend was absolutely epic. I flew up single, and came back with a boyfriend. 

I must confess that the portion of the trip leaving my town and being on the plane was nerve-wracking to the point that I wanted to cry. I was terrified of contracting the virus. There were way more people in the airport than I anticipated. I created a make-shift mask using one of my summer scarves, but after the damn thing kept falling and getting in the way, I ditched it. I knew it wasn't going to protect me anyway, so I threw myself to the mercy of staying as far away from people as possible. After all, I thought, I'm sure that the plane won't be so bad, and I would be able to work. 

But the flight was bad. It sucked, big time. 

There were tons of people on the flight. It was so crowded that I thought if I was going to get sick, today would be the day. This is it. I kept telling myself, though, that the trip was worth it. I focused on my destination and tried to bury myself in my work using the on-flight wifi. I didn't want to use a vacation day, so I was going to bill my ass off in the airport, on the plane, and a little bit once I got to his apartment. 

Once the plane landed, I relaxed. The excitement of seeing him set in. I couldn't wait. While I was waiting for my luggage (the airline checked my bag for me since the cabin space was so sparse), I met a lovely woman named Lisa with her service dog, a sweet Havanese. She was an older woman, and I agreed to help her get her luggage. She had two large, 50 lb. suitcases that she needed help with. She was a Boston resident and had brought her items from her summer home since she didn't know when she would return again. She asked me why I was flying in a pandemic. I felt like an idiot and responded, "My boyfriend lives here." (At this time, "Boston" and I weren't official, but it was easier to say than, "this guy I've been dating"). Once I said that, her eyes lit up. 

"Oh! A romance. How sweet. I hope he appreciates you flying here to see him, and that he will do the same." 

"Yes, he comes to see me in April, as long as they don't ground the flights." Part of me felt real fear at the prospect. 

"It'll work. Have faith." 

Just then, the luggage belt horn sounded, announcing our bags which, thankfully, arrived quickly. Boston hadn't gotten to the airport yet, giving me enough time to throw some makeup on my face. By the time I finished, Boston texted that he was pulling in. I went outside and felt the cool air. I was really here. 

And then when I saw him at the airport, with a smile, pulling up and taking my suitcase, all the fear  I felt from the morning washed away. He gave me a kiss on the mouth immediately, quipping that if I was infected, he was already screwed. We got home. 

I won't review every detail from the entire weekend, but I'll say this: the trip was worth the risk for me. Waking up next to him for the first time was amazing. The chemistry between us was pure electricity. We couldn't keep our hands off each other, and we shared more with each other in three days than I think we would have if we were in the same city. We grew so much closer. The best part was that he asked me to be his girlfriend. 

On Sunday morning, while we were holding each other confessing our feelings, he asked me how I felt about "making it official." 

"What, you mean, like I'm your girlfriend?" 

"Yeah, I mean, my girlfriend, and I'd be your boyfriend. I know it's a label, and I'm not saying I'm crazy about labels, but we could make it official." 

"I'm okay with that label," I said with a smile. 

That night, he deleted his dating apps. I deleted mine the next day. 

I felt tears welling up when we were parting at the airport. I held it in, because I still had hours of travel ahead of me. Logan airport was a ghost town. Security was a breeze because I was only one of two people walking through. 

I miss him, and I can't wait to see him again. He invited me to meet some of his family for Memorial Day weekend, but because of an arbitration, I can't fly up that Friday. 

"It's okay, you'll see them on July 4 weekend when you come up." 

Things are really moving forward, and I'm so happy. I guess some might expect me to say that I wish it wasn't happening in the middle of a pandemic, but I won't say that. I won't say that because I've been waiting a very, very long time for a good man that I care about and who cares about me, and I think I have found one. I deserve to be happy, and as selfish as this sounds, I'm not going to put my relationship on hold. We will take precautions, and we will stay away from others, but we won't stay away from each other. 

 

Love in the Time of Coronavirus

I finally met someone I like, but he lives in Boston. Air travel is risky these days. Do we stop seeing each other? Phone calls and video chat only gets you so far. 

But first, background. 

Ironically, I met this guy about 6 years ago when I was looking for a new apartment to escape my psycho ex who kept puncturing my tires (oh yes, a tire per week). I barely took note of him at the time. He had curly hair, blue eyes, and he was a health law lawyer. I was still a prosecutor back then. He was renting where I live now, and he seemed like a nice guy. We connected on LinkedIn, had a few phone calls during the transition process when I had questions about the community, and that was it. He moved back to Boston after his in-house counsel job here in town laid him off; he started his own practice, and now has clients in 3 states. He's still a small operation, but he is aggressively trying to grow his practice. I admire him for that. I never had the guts to start my own practice, mostly because I suck at rainmaking. I like to practice law; I hate business. 

Back in January (January 20, to be precise), we matched on Bumble. He reminded me of who he was; he looked so different. His curly hair was now gone and he was bald. He was 33 now, had nicer glasses, and he looked like he lost some weight and had toned up. He was visiting with his mom and stepdad. He was only in town for a few more days and asked if I'd like to meet. I said yes, and we met at a World of Beer for a drink on January 24.  

On that date, he told me that he wanted to find someone to have a serious relationship with; he wanted to settle down, and he needed to know if I wanted that or was I just looking to hook up. Everything he was saying was music to my ears. Settling down? Of course. I'm 35 and my eggs aren't getting any younger. Settling down with someone who has their life together? Sign me up. I told him I was, and he said, "I just want to make it clear, I'm not here to waste your time." Wowzers. 

After the date, we shared our first kiss, and in the month after, we shared many phone calls and text messages until his second visit in February. More phone calls and daily text messages. 

Then the coronavirus started growing in the US. At the time, I was going to run the London Marathon on April 26 and I would fly out to London on April 22. To see me before I left, he was going to fly to see me on April 16 and stay for 5 days. Then, the plan was that I would see him in May. Of course, the marathon was postponed and the airfares went dirt cheap in March. While talking on the phone earlier this week to plan for our May visit, I saw how cheap the fares were - $56 round trip. How could I say no? 

Well, the coronavirus is a concern. And yet, I bought the fare and we planned the weekend without thinking. 

And then the paranoia hit me. What if I catch it? And give it to him? And who knows who else? 

And what if I don't? 

And what if all domestic flights are grounded for months and we don't see each other? 

And what if... 

I decided to take the chance. I have as much risk catching it in the airport as I would running around the supermarket looking for some toilet paper. I'll take precautions - and hand sanitizer - and stay away from as many folks as possible. 

I'm excited to see him, and I haven't felt like this in a long time about anybody. My emotions are probably convincing me to do stupid things. 

This pandemic makes me realize, though, that a long-distance relationship is no joke. It takes more time and preparation than a local relationship would and can get disrupted way more easily, but it also makes the time together much more special. 

I hope the virus gets under control soon. 

For now, it's love in the time of coronavirus.