Pictured above is my IV site. Yup, I was in the hospital.
It all started with what I thought was a bug bite. I had a red bump that spread (and felt) like an itchy wildfire. My upper legs and upper arms were dominated by waves of red bumps and rash. The bumps and rash spread to the rest of my body in patches before finally decorating my hands in bumps. When I started getting sores in my mouth, my family begged me to go get checked out. Getting checked out lead to getting checked in to the hospital.
It didn't stop there.
Every joint in my body started to ache until it reached full-blown agony. It hit me in the middle of my first night in the hospital. I was in so much pain that I was in tears. I called the nurse, begging for some kind of relief. My right arm was going numb and I couldn't feel anything in my right hand. Through my tears, I begged the nurse for answers. She told me that they were running tests and reassured me that everything would be okay. She offered me medicine to help me sleep, which I accepted.
Later in the night, I woke up again and tried to go to the bathroom. I was found on the floor. A throng of medical professionals came into my room. A man with a beard and glasses introduced himself as being from critical care. I was in a haze. I didn't really remember exactly how I fell, just that my vision suddenly went black and I felt myself hit a wall. It was like my legs fell apart. I didn't have sensation in my arm. I was panicked to see so many medical professionals in my room.
"Are you okay? How did you fall?"
"I don't know, I hit the wall. My vision was splotchy. I got dizzy. I don't remember. I don't know." I started to cry because I didn't know what was happening to my body. I was freaked out.
"It's okay, hun. Okay, now, I want you to squeeze my fingers as hard as you can." He held out his two index fingers. I tried to squeeze as much as possible but I felt so weak. This wasn't me. I was someone that ran 5 miles before work and lifted weights for an hour at the gym, not someone who falls in the middle of the night in a hospital room. After a few more exercises, they determined I was okay. My nurse asked me if I needed anything else. I told her I would try to sleep. My nurse told me not to get up again without getting her assistance, and I promised her that I would call her next time. I managed to sleep for a couple of hours.
"Are you okay? How did you fall?"
"I don't know, I hit the wall. My vision was splotchy. I got dizzy. I don't remember. I don't know." I started to cry because I didn't know what was happening to my body. I was freaked out.
"It's okay, hun. Okay, now, I want you to squeeze my fingers as hard as you can." He held out his two index fingers. I tried to squeeze as much as possible but I felt so weak. This wasn't me. I was someone that ran 5 miles before work and lifted weights for an hour at the gym, not someone who falls in the middle of the night in a hospital room. After a few more exercises, they determined I was okay. My nurse asked me if I needed anything else. I told her I would try to sleep. My nurse told me not to get up again without getting her assistance, and I promised her that I would call her next time. I managed to sleep for a couple of hours.
The next morning, my doctors came to see me. I broke down in tears again because I was still in so much pain. I hadn't slept well. I just wanted to be normal again and go home. The doctors examined me, asked me a few questions, and then theorized among themselves about what I had. I felt like a real-life episode of House. They told me they had to keep me in the hospital longer because they weren't sure what virus I had. I was frustrated; I just wanted to go home and get back to work, but I knew I was in no condition to work. I agreed to stay.
Later in the day, I was finally given pain meds intravenously. I was flying. My pain was almost gone. I could move my hands again. I had feeling in my right arm again. My parents came to see me. I felt so great that I even went for a walk around the hospital with my mom.
My final in-hospital examination with the infectious disease doctor was somewhat humorous. I could hear him and a resident outside my hospital room, discussing me.
"Now, this case is fascinating! It started very weird, with a very weird rash. And then..." I heard my doctor describe my symptoms to the resident, and the resident replying, "Oh, my! That is very interesting!" When they came in, my doctor introduced the resident to me and got my permission for him to examine me as well. I consented - after all, if I was that fascinating and interesting, I might as well let my misery be a good learning opportunity.
Later that day, a volunteer from one of the local Catholic churches came by and offered me Holy Communion. I was so excited for it. She stayed with me and chatted with me for a short time. It was a nice experience.
When everything was stable, I was finally cleared to be released from the hospital. My joint pain wasn't so bad - the pain meds I was on were amazing.
That is, they were amazing until they wore off. I originally wanted to go home to my apartment, but my parents wanted me to stay at their house, just to make sure I was okay. I begrudgingly agreed; my mom's look of worry on her face when I refused broke my heart. The last thing I want to do is worry my parents. I'm glad I listened to them. The pain returned, not as awful as the first night, but still pretty bad. It hurt to move, and I couldn't close my hands. Eventually, after a cocktail of pills, I was able to get the pain under control. Today, for the first time, I could actually cut my own food.
This whole hospital experience made me realize a few things:
(1) My family is amazing. The way they all rallied around me and visited me during my hospital stay made me see how much of a blessing they are. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed the company until their visit was finished. Not only that, but they all came together to help me when I was out of the hospital. Seriously, how many people can say they have a family like mine?
(2) My friends are amazing. One friend in particular who is very dear to me, the minute she learned I was in the hospital, came running. She wouldn't let me tell her that it wasn't a big deal or unnecessary. To her, it was necessary to come see me, no matter what I said. It warmed my heart to know that she cared that much to come see me, to see for herself how I was doing and spend time with me. The rest of my friends, after I broke the news when I was close to getting out of the hospital, also checked in to see how I was. It's nice to know that I have friends that actually care about my well-being.
(3) My health is serious. Looking back, when the virus was first taking hold of me, I refused to give in. I kept going to work and I kept billing crazy hours for my law firm. I was putting my work ahead of my health, and I probably should not have done that. I probably should have allowed myself to get medical help earlier. When I was checking into the hospital, I even brought my work with me. Once I was in the hospital room, I set up a corner as my workspace. It worked until I was overcome with pain and then high on pain meds. I wonder if my recovery would have been faster if I had given myself the rest when it was originally due.
(4) Hospital volunteers are precious. I was lucky to have family and friends, but not everyone is that lucky. The woman from the Catholic church was kind, warm, and friendly. I think that for lonelier hearts, her visit might have been powerful enough to make up from the lack of attention from family and friends. Seeing her in the hospital when I was in a vulnerable state made me realize that volunteers, people who take their own time to give it in service to others, are exceptional people, and they can add some brightness to what might otherwise be a very dark experience. I hope she continues her work, and I hope that more people will join her.
(5) Thank your doctors and health care professionals. Around the clock, I had a team of people working on me, checking to make sure I was okay. Don't underestimate the value of their work. It's a noble profession to be in, and I'm glad I had a good team working on me.
Tomorrow is my follow-up appointment. I'm hoping to find out what this mysterious virus was. It's too bad that House isn't filming anymore. Maybe I would have made a good episode.
"Now, this case is fascinating! It started very weird, with a very weird rash. And then..." I heard my doctor describe my symptoms to the resident, and the resident replying, "Oh, my! That is very interesting!" When they came in, my doctor introduced the resident to me and got my permission for him to examine me as well. I consented - after all, if I was that fascinating and interesting, I might as well let my misery be a good learning opportunity.
Later that day, a volunteer from one of the local Catholic churches came by and offered me Holy Communion. I was so excited for it. She stayed with me and chatted with me for a short time. It was a nice experience.
When everything was stable, I was finally cleared to be released from the hospital. My joint pain wasn't so bad - the pain meds I was on were amazing.
That is, they were amazing until they wore off. I originally wanted to go home to my apartment, but my parents wanted me to stay at their house, just to make sure I was okay. I begrudgingly agreed; my mom's look of worry on her face when I refused broke my heart. The last thing I want to do is worry my parents. I'm glad I listened to them. The pain returned, not as awful as the first night, but still pretty bad. It hurt to move, and I couldn't close my hands. Eventually, after a cocktail of pills, I was able to get the pain under control. Today, for the first time, I could actually cut my own food.
This whole hospital experience made me realize a few things:
(1) My family is amazing. The way they all rallied around me and visited me during my hospital stay made me see how much of a blessing they are. I didn't realize how much I enjoyed the company until their visit was finished. Not only that, but they all came together to help me when I was out of the hospital. Seriously, how many people can say they have a family like mine?
(2) My friends are amazing. One friend in particular who is very dear to me, the minute she learned I was in the hospital, came running. She wouldn't let me tell her that it wasn't a big deal or unnecessary. To her, it was necessary to come see me, no matter what I said. It warmed my heart to know that she cared that much to come see me, to see for herself how I was doing and spend time with me. The rest of my friends, after I broke the news when I was close to getting out of the hospital, also checked in to see how I was. It's nice to know that I have friends that actually care about my well-being.
(3) My health is serious. Looking back, when the virus was first taking hold of me, I refused to give in. I kept going to work and I kept billing crazy hours for my law firm. I was putting my work ahead of my health, and I probably should not have done that. I probably should have allowed myself to get medical help earlier. When I was checking into the hospital, I even brought my work with me. Once I was in the hospital room, I set up a corner as my workspace. It worked until I was overcome with pain and then high on pain meds. I wonder if my recovery would have been faster if I had given myself the rest when it was originally due.
(4) Hospital volunteers are precious. I was lucky to have family and friends, but not everyone is that lucky. The woman from the Catholic church was kind, warm, and friendly. I think that for lonelier hearts, her visit might have been powerful enough to make up from the lack of attention from family and friends. Seeing her in the hospital when I was in a vulnerable state made me realize that volunteers, people who take their own time to give it in service to others, are exceptional people, and they can add some brightness to what might otherwise be a very dark experience. I hope she continues her work, and I hope that more people will join her.
(5) Thank your doctors and health care professionals. Around the clock, I had a team of people working on me, checking to make sure I was okay. Don't underestimate the value of their work. It's a noble profession to be in, and I'm glad I had a good team working on me.
Tomorrow is my follow-up appointment. I'm hoping to find out what this mysterious virus was. It's too bad that House isn't filming anymore. Maybe I would have made a good episode.
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