Dick Pics (NSFW)

Pictured above is an actual dick pic I received, minus the snowman. It was sent to me by a guy who was trying to convince me to sleep with him. 

I had an interesting discussion about dick pics with several female friends. In our fabulous age of technology, the dick pic has become a new phenomena. 

Is a guy pissed off at you? Dick pic. 

Is he trying to get you to sleep with him? Dick pic. 

Is he trying to be funny? Dick pic. 

Is a guy feeling rejected by a girl? Dick pic. 

The dick has taken on a new life of its own, beyond erection for sexual conquest. It has become an icon, a multi-meaning, unwelcome symbol of a man's frustrations, abnormalities, pride, and jealousies. Behold, the dick. 

I would say that 100% of the time, guys who send dick pics are actual dicks. Think about it - who would want to receive a picture of a dick? About 90% of the time that they are received, dick pics are unwelcome. Much like diarrhea, they appear at the most inconvenient moments. 

Are you out with your family? Dick pic. 

Are you at work? Dick pic. 

Are you with your significant other and a guy from your past is trying to contact you? Dick pic. 

Are you out with your friends? Dick pic - and laughs and criticism of the dick. 

Here's an example of a dick sending a dick pic. When we were together, my ex had a hero, his friend "Bob." Bob was a man, aged 40, who was married with two children, and who would rub up on 20-somethings every time it was "Guys Night Out." One day, my ex revealed to me that Bob had dick pics on his phone.

"He's having an affair, or trying to." I told him.

"No way!" 

"Are you that dense? Who else would he be sending it to? He wouldn't need to send it to his wife because she gets the live show! He's trying to seduce someone." 

Female friends of mine periodically receive the dick pic during their dating conquests. Most of the time, it's from creepers online. They appear to be charming initially. Messages are exchanged. Enough trust is built that the female will disclose her cell phone number to switch from online messaging to text messaging. And...there...it...comes... 

DICK PIC! 

Remember the psychopath? He loved his dick pics. In fact, after I rejected him in 2014, he sent me a plethora of dick pics. The dick pic was a method of revenge and seduction in his mind.

"DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE MISSING!?" he would angrily text me. And then, the dick pics.

The dick pic being sent as an expression of anger is definitely a trait for the psychopath. One of my female friends recounted for me some dick pics she received. She dated a guy for a little bit, but they stopped dating. There was no chemistry. This didn't sit well with him, even two years later. Out of the blue, on Facebook messenger, he sent her multiple dick pics. It was his way of trying to degrade her.

Here's the bottom line. Ladies, if a guy is sending you a dick pic, he's probably a dick himself. Guys, don't be a dick and send a dick pic. It's just not classy.