Time for Myself

Image: "The Persistence of Memory" by Salvador Dali

Lately, I've found that my biggest challenge has been to find time for myself. After being launched into singlehood, I made it my mission to keep myself as busy as possible with friends, family, and volunteer work. I donate my time to a non-profit organization, I teach Sunday school, I'm on a professional work-related committee that meets at different locations in my state throughout the year, and my job is demanding as well. I've also noticed that I've been working longer and longer hours at work. Coming home at 9 or 10 at night is almost becoming routine for me. Working during the afternoon on a Saturday or Sunday is becoming more common. Dating is taking a nose dive. I'm usually too tired to go out, and when I do force myself out, I'm ready to come home early (although I have been known to stay out until 3 a.m. and then start my week all over in an exhausted state). It's a little scary.

Last night after coming home at 10 p.m., I had to ask myself why. Why am I doing this to myself? I think it's because I stopped taking a step back. I stopped smelling the roses. I stopped dating myself. I started dating work, volunteering, charity, and church. I've increased the hours I put in to all of these things. It's okay for me to do these projects, but I really need to make more time for myself and my own personal life.

Being a lawyer, I know that long hours at work come with the territory, but I need to keep time to myself, too. Work will always be there. Opportunities for happiness and love may not always be there. Family time is important, too, but so is time to myself.

I think it's time for me to cut back. It's time for me to take a break. It's time for me to rest. I need to make time for dating and make time for the opportunity that dating might bring me - a shot at some true love.

Now, I've already made peace with the idea that I may never have love. I may never get married. I still hope for it, but after being what I've been through with my ex, and seeing other friends of mine who married and divorced just as quickly, I'd rather be single than badly partnered.

On the same token, I'd rather have love with someone else than be single.

To have love with someone else, I need to have myself.