Bottoms Up

Tinder is a blast. You can swipe gleefully to the right. You can swipe gleefully to the left. A new person for your flash judgment is always waiting. Sometimes, you are in awe of a beautiful specimen and swipe right hoping that the beautiful specimen will, too, swipe right. Sometimes, however, you are brought to shock. Observe:

It is photos like these that make you pause from your Tinder swiping and think, "What the f***?" I don't know where along the way Eric up there thought a photo of his bare ass would be a sure way to reel the ladies in, or why David thinks a photo with an upward direction (perhaps to make women think about what it would be like to be on their knees in front him committing some sex acts) with his pierced nipples exposed would surely cause ladies to swoon. 

I am neither reeled nor swooning. I am certainly reeling. I am reeling in amazement of what these men must have been thinking when they created their Tinder profiles.

I swiped left across Eric's ass and David's nipples.

And so... I continued swiping.