Fight Club

Every now and then, I get messaged by a variety of colorful characters asking me to engage in a number of activities. Some of these activities may be lesbian in nature, or to join a couple for a threesome. Towards the end of July, I received an invitation to this...

That's right! This was a legit invitation to an underground fight club. I'm glad that my workout habits communicate that I am a fit female who can kick fellow female ass. 

A discussion with a fellow singleton today got me thinking about the message from this fellow, the limited dating pool, and how, in a way, dating itself is a giant fight club. 

A cursory search of the Internet allowed me to find these rules for fight club. 

Rule 1: You do not talk about Fight Club.

Rule 2: You do not talk about Fight Club.

These first two rules together mean Fight Club is a top secret business, much like dating. Nobody wants to reveal one's secret dating life. Nobody ever talks about the nitty gritty details of dating life except when things are good, or when things are terrible and there is a desire to demonize the other person. The person that one is dating is either a saint or a devil. Either way, the initial stages of the relationship, and the one night stands that happen along the way, tend to remain secret, much like Fight Club. I don't think any man I've ever dated has ever been entirely truthful about the number of women he has slept with. The same applies for women. Make no mistake - women hound as badly as men do. They're just better at being discreet about it. 

Rule 3: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, or taps out, then the fight is over.

I think this is pretty self-explanatory. In dating, if you tell the other person to buzz off, they need to buzz off. Going limp is a real tragedy. If the sex is terrible in the dating stage, run the other way.... unless you're really, truly, madly in love with the person and you think you can work on it. 

Rule 4: Only two guys to a fight.

Unless you're getting involved in a polyamourous arrangement, it's two at a time. I don't know many swingers, but unless you're a swinger, you go two at a time. It's just you and the other person. It's better this way. Humans tend to run in pairs. Why do you think women go to the bathroom in pairs? It's human nature. Two is the number of companionship and duality. It allows you to focus on the other person and decide the following: do I want to continue with this person?

Rule 5: One fight at a time.

You can only be on one date with one person at a time, but you can have multiple dates with multiple people at multiple times until you find your grand "win" and date one person steadily. Either way, two at a time, and one at a time. 

Rule 6: No shirts, no shoes.

I think of it like this - on a date, ideally, you are showing your true self to the other person. You are "taking it all off." I believe in making a good impression on the first date, but I won't show up to a first date dressed to the nines with my four-inch heels and a wildly sexy dress because I don't normally dress that way. I dress nicely, but I save the pizzazz for the right time. Later on, once the man has demonstrated his reliability and staying power to me, then it really is no shirt and no shoes. (wink wink!)

Rule 7: Fights will go on as long as they need in order to terminate. 

Dating continues as long as it needs to continue. When dating, you end up in one of two ways: marriage, or breakup. Sometimes, the marriage ends up in divorce, but ideally, you date to marry, and you date long enough to ensure you won't divorce this person. I don't know anyone who goes into a marriage thinking they will divorce in five years (or, in the case of a good friend of mine, 90 days). Besides, weddings are expensive! Nobody wants to flush down all that pomp and circumstance for an even more costly divorce that spends more money, and, worse, emotions. 

Rule 8: If this is your first night at Fight Club, then you must fight. 

That's right. If you chose to go out on a date, then you must stick it out. Besides, remember Rule 3, you can call it quits with any person whenever you need. After all, it's just one date. It's not forever. 


Welcome to the Club.