Pig Farmer?

Having been on multiple dating portals with little success, a friend of mine suggested that I try an alternative dating site. I asked her what she had in mind. She suggested FarmersOnly.com.

I had worked for many years in a rural community. I had come to learn that not all farmers are redneck. In fact, many of them are very intelligent men with bachelor degrees and involved in farming enterprises. They are businessmen. They also tended to be good-hearted. I decided to try my luck.

I created an account, uploaded a lovely photo of myself, and anxiously entered my preferences. I launched my search. I probably should have been tipped off to the redneck nature of the site when I read the motto, "Because sometimes city folks just don't get it."

One such search result was this specimen:

I can't make this stuff up. I went through a few other results. The selections were few. The site offered me about three other additional men (note: men, not matches) within a 50 mile radius who were equally, if not more, redneck. Horrified, I immediately deleted the account. I guess this makes me "city folk."

I don't mind trying something new, but it still needs to meet my standards. If these are city standards, then I'll stick to the city.